Seems like just yesterday you were closing in on 30. You may have thought about having a child. Or it may have been the furthest thing from your mind. After all, you had plenty of time.
Perhaps you were still single. Perhaps you were pursuing your career or furthering your education.
We often associate grief with the death of a loved one. But what about the death of a love? Breaking up with a romantic partner can certainly feel like death!
People change. We’re not static beings by any means. Even our cells die away and are replaced. We’re ever-changing and always renewing at our core.
So why expect a romantic partner to remain the same?
Our grief, which by definition is deep sorrow over loss, is often compartmentalized. Even the deepest grief for the death of a loved can be confined to a few hours of public grief at a funeral home.
As long as we keep grief within those walls, it won’t swallow us whole. That’s what we think.
“What has to die is your refusal for things to die. Your refusal for things to end. If that dies life can be fed by that.” — Stephen Jenkenson, Orphan Wisdom School
A few years back, I found myself falling head-over-heals for a new man in town.
He was strikingly handsome, sensitive yet strong, and well attuned to the tones and shifts of my inner world. His sexy British accent melted me and his is dry humor sent me into stitches with laughter. I quickly opened my heart to him and felt ecstatic when he chose to enter.
With him in my life, I shined in full glow.
Then one horrible night . . . he turned around and walked right out . . .
Do we have realistic expectations about marriage? Probably not…
In part one, you read a historical overview of the evolution of marriage from an “arrangement” built on economic and political security, patrimony, and lineage to a “promise” of mutual fulfillment–emotional, spiritual, and sexual.
Yet, we still long for the old-fashioned marriage ideals of safety, security, dependability, and familiarity. And now we also expect the new marriage ideals of ever-present passion, authentic intimacy, equality, and self expression.
Did you know that marriage wasn’t always about love?
In fact, it used to be more of a first natural step into adulthood, a practical economic partnership, and a societal expectation, than any epic love story.
It wasn’t so long ago that marriage was as a matter of convenience, built on economic and political security, patrimony, and lineage — the power balance tipped nearly completely to the male side.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Or is it? If you aren’t humming that merry tune, you may thinking . . . "I hate the holidays. Is there something wrong with me if I loathe this “joyous” time of year?" While it may be shocking to die-hard holiday fans, for...
The holidays can be a joyous time. You see the highlights on social media--all those happy family reunions. But inside, you cringe. It’s yet another reminder that your family didn’t fall out of a Hallmark movie. You’re not looking forward to another nightmare...
And they lived happily ever after...but you’re still single. Where’s your happily ever after? The truth is no one is guaranteed to live happily ever after. If we really think about it, no such thing exists, not on this earth anyway. All we have is right now--this very...
What feelings do the words lonely and alone stir up for you? My guess would be sadness with a side of desperation. Let’s dig beneath the gut reaction. Alone simply means you’re by yourself. Lonely means you feel a certain way about being by yourself. Or it’s possible...
Have you ever been to a social event and noticed that one couple? You know...the one that can’t seem to keep their hands or eyes off of each other. You can see, and almost feel, the connection between them when they make eye contact from across the room. They seem so...
Do you know who you really are? Your immediate response may be, “Yes, of course!”
Let me rephrase that: Beyond the surface, at the deepest level, who are you? It may be a question you’ve never asked yourself. Or it may be a question you’re avoiding with all your might.
Don’t you want know who you are underneath that stylish facade, before your morning commute, in the landscape of your dreams?
Woman, wake up! Wake up to your Wild Self. There is more to you than what you’ve been told, a wisdom not learned in books, a dance not taught in class, a call that whispers of your soul . . .
The Queen stands tall. She walks with grace. She embodies a powerful silence and stillness. She is humble, and leads with her heart.
The Queen is clear about what she desires. She does not seduce to attract attention, nor manipulate to get her way. She does not need validation or approval. She knows her worth, without being arrogant. And aspires to be authentic, even if she’s unpopular.
Photo by Robin Clark
Imagine being able to identify your thoughts, feelings and desires and confidently express them without letting your anxiety run away with you.
Speaking your truth in each moment will bring you more of the satisfying connections that you long for with your partner, your friends, and your family members.